A Virgo’s Guide to a completely non-spontaneous dinner party.
A spontaneous Virgo dinner party is an oxymoron. Anyone who has ever had to live with a Virgo such as myself knows that nothing is perfect unless planned days in advance, involving copious notes and multiple changes, a few last-minute snits, discussion and debates (usually with the wall) and, finally, a lovely meal consumed in about 1/100th of the time spent planning it, enjoyed by everyone except the Virgo who will still find fault with it.
I feel that I can make fun of my ilk, because after years of self-analysis, and some professional help, I know that it’s just the way I am and I’m not likely to change. I thought that on this, the eve of my birthday, I could pass along some of the tips that have kept me from jumping off the Galleries at low tide minutes before guests are expected.
1) Pick a theme. This will help you maintain a focus while planning the party. Because Virgos tend to read every cooking magazine available and want to try everything, we could end up with a nightmare menu plan; one that would cost an arm and a leg to produce, as well as requiring the kitchen staff of a large hotel. By picking one theme, whether it be seasonal, ethnic, or even colours, you can pull from all of those fantastic ideas that you have read about, keeping a level head and sensible perspective.
2) Force yourself to stick to your original plan, with one alternative as back up.( See item #3) This is a good lesson in self control that anyone could benefit from. Do not watch any last minute cooking shows or pick up a new Gourmet magazine after you have finally settled on your menu. Force yourself not to look at the covers of cooking magazines even as you are standing in the check-out with ingredients for your dinner. You will only cause yourself unnecessary anguish. There will always be another time to try something new.
3) Always have an alternate plan. You may not always be able to find the ingredients that you need. If you can’t be totally flexible, at least have one alternative that you know will work. Don’t ever leave this decision until you have gone to the store and have found that you can’t find the fennel or couscous you need. Without an alternative, this could drive the Virgo to cancel the feast entirely!
4)Accept help. This is not a failing, but actually an art form. It is actually harder for a Virgo to delegate than for others. We would rather do it all ourselves, and prove to everyone what a perfect martyr we are. We must remember that being a perfect delegater is also a goal we can strive to achieve and take to even greater heights. Just think of it as a new mission in life.
5)Set yourself a time-schedule and stick to it! Because I know that you can't stand waiting to get started, allow yourself a few items that can be prepared in advance (up to 2 weeks, no more) and this may help alleviate some of the anxiety you feel about getting the prep done. Make sure that you have something to be doing until guests arrive. Don't leave yourself too much free time in the few hours just before your dinner. You may find yourself starting to make 11th hour changes which is a big no-no, or even worse, getting into the dinner wine, which could be an even bigger no-no.
6) If someone offers to bring dessert, let them! There is nothing worse than trying to bake when you are stressed. It is a little known fact that leavening agents can sense high levels of tension and this will cause them to be less than compliant! I am personally very familiar with this strange and little understood phenomenon.
7) When people tell you that the meal was wonderful, they really mean it. Remember, any meal that you don’t have to cook for yourself is going to be a treat. Don’t go on and on about how you decided on this particular menu, and about how difficult it was to find all of the ingredients. And whatever you do, don’t pull out pre-printed copies of your recipes that you just happen to have on hand and start passing them out. Just say “Thank-you”.
8) I have always found that by keeping the lights low and by using lots of candles, I can actually sit and enjoy my company for a sustained period. Candle light is incredible for hiding real and imagined dust, spills and crumbs that could send any true Virgo for the dust buster. It goes without saying that the worst time to entertain is just before sunset, if you have large windows facing the west.
Just once, I would like to be able to spontaneously invite people to stay for dinner, and be able to be comfortable serving soup and sandwiches, or even left-overs. But I realize that this is just never going to happen. It’s just my lot in life to be a Virgo.
Compatibility with your significant other in the kitchen is possibly more important than that other, more openly discussed compatibility. This is due to the proximity of many more sharp objects!